Disclaimer: These jokes are not meant to offend anybody. They are here to make people laugh, so don't take them personally! Those of you out there who ARE taking them personally, then lighten up... they're just jokes.

A tin whistle player was sick of the band abusing him, and decided to start his own.
He walked into a music shop, planning to buy the first instruments he saw.
"Give me the red saxophone and that accordion!", he said.
The assistant said, "You play the whistle, don't you?"
"That's right. Why?"
"Well, the fire exinguisher I can sell you - but the radiator stays.

Customer: I'd like to buy a guitar, please.
Shop Assistant: You're a whistler, aren't you?
Customer: How did you know that?
Shop Assistant: This is a fish and chip shop.

Why is a low whistle better than a regular tin whistle?
The low whistle is easier to run over.

Why do people hate tin whistle players straight away?
Saves time.

How can you tell the difference between whistle tunes?
By the names.

What's the difference between a snake and a whistle in the road?
People MIGHT swerve to miss the snake.

If you got lost in the woods, and you came across a whistler that played very well, a whistler that played badly, or Santa Claus, which one should you ask for directions?
The whistler that plays badly. The other two show you have been having hallucinations.

Fellow walks into a pub in Belfast with a plastic bag under his arms.
The bartender asks "What's that?" "Six pounds of Semtex", he answers.
"Thanks be to Jaysus; I thought it was a Low whistle!"

A tin whistle player remembered that he had left his €150 low whistle in his unlocked car.
Rushing back, he opened his car door to find two more low whistles in the back seat.

What's the difference between a whistle and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Definition of an optimist: A whistler with a beeper.

How do you get two whistlers to play in unison?
Shoot one.

"Gentlemen" defined: Someone who knows how to play the whistle, but doesn't.