Disclaimer: These jokes are not meant to offend anybody. They are here to make people laugh, so don't take them personally! Those of you out there who ARE taking them personally, then lighten up... they're just jokes.

How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two....one to change it and the other to say "Hey, I can do that better!"

What's the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?
A savings bond eventually matures and starts earning money.

What's the difference between an extra-large pizza and a guitar player?
The pizza will feed a family of four.

An hour before mass, the priest approaches the guitar player and says:
"I'm glad to see you include Bible precepts in your playing."
The guitar player asks "Do you mean 'Make a joyful noise unto the Lord?'"
"No," answers the priest, "Don't let the left hand know what the right hand is doing."

What's the best thing to play on a guitar?
Solitaire.

In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.